Blueprint for a great marriage

Being of the same mind is so important to take the right decisions in a relationship like marriage. If husband and wife don’t see eye to eye, it can bring discord in decisions and ultimately affect the children too.

Being of the same mind does not mean suppressing each other’s personalities but rather allowing each other space to grow and agreeing on the major decisions.

We can see from the example of Isaac and Rebecca in the Bible (Genesis 24) , how much care Abraham took to select a bride from his own people by sending his trusted eldest servant Eliezer on a journey taking over three weeks one way to select a bride for his son.

And so Rebecca, a maiden of soft tongue and rough hands was chosen after much prayer by Eliezer, following his master’s instructions and Isaac took her to be his bride.

They have twins after much prayer by Rebecca (Genesis 25; 19-26), and a prophecy is given to her. Over time, one sees that there are differences of opinion between Isaac and Rebecca (Genesis 27) and each of them have their own favourite child. The division is so remarkable that Rebecca helps her beloved son Jacob deceive his own father to obtain his blessings, by posing as his elder brother Esau.

If Isaac had shared the remarkable faith of his father Abraham, he would have believed as per the prophecy that Jacob would get his blessing. However, he wanted to give that to Esau. Rebecca too, if she believed the prophecy given to her at the time her children were in her womb, would not have had to resort to this kind of manipulation to ensure that Isaac give the final blessing to Jacob.

And Isaac’s weakness being food, he wanted to give Esau the blessing after partaking of the food prepared by Esau, and not before.

Obviously this long standing weakness of Isaac for food was known to Rebecca too and she exploited it by guiding Jacob what to do. Ultimately, we all know the story of how Jacob had to flee his father’s house to escape his brother’s wrath (It is possible that the strong negative feelings between both siblings were triggered by their parents discordant decisions over the years) and he could return only after a long time (more than 20 years) By then, his mother Rebecca was no more. So, she could never set eyes on her beloved son Jacob again.

What a tragedy and also what a learning for us! How the evil one can change a totally different script for a family by driving a wedge between husband and wife – and their children – over time.

It would be really prudent for us married couples to look at the example of Tobias’ prayer with his new wife Sarah to pray for each other and be there for each other throughout life. This is described in Tobit 8:4-8.

We learn from the bible that the husband and wife praying for each other and their children bring blessings and happiness for them. A great example of being of the same mind.

And as it is said in Philippians 2.2 “Complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing”.

This is the blueprint for a successful marriage, laid down so clearly in the Bible.

Let us learn from these examples and be of the same mind in all things and at all times, with our God-given partner for life in marriage.

By Tom Thomas Maliekal

Tom is an Indian entrepreneur with interests in technology, manufacturing, reading, scribbling, running, faith and family (not necessarily in that order) He was greatly inspired on his journey of fitness by the amazing transformation that the Snehagram Community – www.snehagram.org – has made in the lives of HIV infected youngsters, by shaping them up into some of the most outstanding amateur runners in India.