I am a fixer. I turn to God as a last resort. Even when I prayed about something I took it back and tried to keep fixing it. Then I whined. For the longest time, my prayers hit the ceiling and just stayed there. I eventually just stopped. Did you ever feel that way?
It was hard enough with a sick husband, loving him, wanting him to be better, little or no social life, fewer and fewer friends. I did not like where we lived, how we lived, or the bleak future we had. I tried to ‘fix’ everything and failing that, I became a whiner and that, dear friend, distorted everything I read, everything I thought, every prayer
I prayed.
The day came, not two weeks ago, God called my husband home.
We had just decided on a new budget, and he had agreed to live for at least another year; hopefully, more. God had other plans and called Smokey home.
I was in shock. What would I do? Where would I go? I had nowhere to live, no money, no hope. Again, I tried to pray, but again, it felt like my words went nowhere.
There was silence, utter silence. Then I remembered what Paul had said about his earthly circumstances, that he had known wealth and luxury and great privation, yet his earthly circumstances meant nothing to him for to live was Christ.
I was bold and asked forgiveness of my selfishness, my whining, my “me, myself, and I” attitude. I told Jesus as long as I could tell others about Him, share the Good News of His Salvation where I lived did not matter.
Jesus took me at my word and answered my prayer! Jesus sent a dear friend and believer to me. They opened their large lovely home to me for however long I needed or wanted to stay.
Jesus used this impossibly difficult situation to shower me with love and blessings that were totally undeserved and also gave me a test. He took me at my word. If you have lived on your own for any length of time, you can understand the test. I have had my own home, my own things for over thirty-seven years. My test is humility; the lesson; to focus on what is really important, the gift; to share His Word.
He placed me in a perfect position to share about Him. I have no earthly concerns. He said in Matthew 6:25-27: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
See me, and you see proof of that fact.
Why would I share this intensely personal story with you? I don’t even know you! I believe personal testimony is one of the best and most convincing ways to share the truth.
Jesus gave me gift after gift after gift, and I squandered them all. Now in my greatest hour of need, He provided for me. Jesus is so loving, so faithful; more faithful than any of us could ever hope to be. If He has blessed me, someone guilty of more than most know, just think of the blessings He has in store for you!
I beg you, fall on your knees and ask His forgiveness of known and unknown sins, ask Him for His Salvation or recommit yourself, your life to him.
Ask Jesus to clear your mind of the log jam of junk that poisons your prayer life and relationship with Him, as it did mine.
The rewards, the peace, the joy will be more than you could ever imagine.
By Katy Curry
Katy feels her bio needs a redo; it is old as the hills. She lives in SW FLorida, is a retired teacher, but tutors 3 half days a week. She started writing on WordPress during a very difficult time in her life. It gives her a little lipstick money and she loves showing the children that learning, reading and writing can and should be fun! She was married for thirty seven years to the love of her life, after Lord Jesus Christ. Kate’s goal is to remain in His will and achieve greater intimacy with Him. More of her works can be found here: www.kafrak.com
